Oprah’s Farewell

The Oprah show is gone. It’s official. The hoopla is done. She’s said her final words, and the curtain has come down. The queen of talk is gone, but never forgotten. But before she finalized this chapter of her life, she made some poignant remarks.

For one thing, she stated that she has learned that everyone she has encountered during this phase of her career, struggles with the same issue; a feeling of unworthiness.

She’s right. The difference lies in how it is manifested through each individual. In some people, its readily visible in their countenance. Some hide it through haughtiness and indifference, but everyone struggles with this in some area; in some way.

She also stated that everyone needs to take responsibility for themselves and their life. Man! I was so glad she said that! People are so busy making excuses. Life happens. You can’t predict what is around the next corner. You have no guarantees.

It isn’t about luck. Its about attitude. Its about preparedness. Its about positioning. In the bible, it talks about waiting on the Lord, but even that waiting is not an inactive state. You are still moving. You are still taking those small steps that help you get a little closer to your goal. That is the difference between those who seem to have all the luck, and those who don’t.

The thing I see that most people don’t take responsibility for is the when they get stuck. What do I mean? Most people get stuck in an attitude when they refuse to forgive.

Some people even get stuck in their lives. They live in the past, sometimes for decades because they won’t forgive. I see this all the time when I look at certain homeless people.

I’m sure you’ve seen some of these homeless people who stand on the street corners or walk around having heated conversations when no one is there. Many of those people are stuck in the past. They live in the presence long enough to get them where they are going, but their minds are still in the past.

They spend their lives reliving old arguments with people they left behind a long time ago; all because they were unable to release and forgive, and they refuse to take responsibility for the burden of their own decisions.

They fail to understand that the power of forgiveness is not releasing the other person from guilt. Its releasing the burden of that pain from yourself. When you release it, the real burden of that destructive situation returns to the actual owner of that trespass. You are then free to live your life without that burden on you any longer.

The last thing Oprah said that really resonated with most people, is the fact that everyone, no matter who they are, or what level of success of failure they’ve achieved in their life; everyone wants to be validated.

Everyone wants to be heard, and to know that what they have to say matters. There is no person that this doesn’t apply to. It is the commonality of all men, regardless of nationality or culture or background.

I know that this is definitely one of the reason I became a writer. Sometimes you have something to say, and people are so busy rushing through life, that they just don’t make the time to listen.

Sometimes, if you are as detailed a person as I can sometimes be, you need to write it out because you need to say more than a brief summary of what’s on your mind, and most people don’t have the patience to listen.

Listening is a valuable skill to have, and knowing the difference between hearing and listening is crucial. Certainly, you don’t want to totally dominate a conversation either, because others also have something of value to say and contribute. If you find that you have a gift of sharing knowledge, writing is probably for you.

Validation comes in many forms, and is different for everyone. Some people use art or technology to express themselves. All in all, I think the most validating thing you can do for someone is just be there for support and listen; even you don’t understand their perspective or even if you disagree with their position.

Just showing them the respect of that simple act, without indifference, will endear you in their eyes. Perhaps taking the extra time to give that little bit of patience and understanding to someone else will mend a relationship or make you a new friend. May we all strive to be so generous with our hearts. As Oprah said, “To God be the glory.”

Sandra M Urquhart

Massage Therapist/Writer

For links to more articles check out:

http://www.sandramurquhart.com & my new website: http://www.issuesinyourtissuesmassagetherapy.com